post from FB. SR NOT doing well. Our supportive answers

Tonya McQueen
I just got my 1 st letter from my son ! He is not happy at all says he wishes he had went to colleage instead . he is going to just stay 4 yrs he is so upset !! I can not stop crying !!
Like · · Unfollow Post · 6 hours ago

Peggy Banner and Pdl Dolores like this.
Mary Wagner DeStefano Tonya they all do that.. Then its I 'm going to re-up then I want out Then re-up.... thats why we call it a roller coaster LOL
6 hours ago · Like · 12
Janice Weber Kowal Don't panic Mom!!! By the time you are reading this he may already be feeling differently. Hang in there... take this first letter with a grain of salt. We should have warned you to prepare yourself. They ALL go through this. They are tired, homesick, exhausted & very emotional... IT WILL PASS!!!!!
6 hours ago · Like · 7
Tonya McQueen It was written 8-12
6 hours ago · Like
Tonya McQueen He wrote in my sos letter he was grying while he was writting it !
6 hours ago · Like
Tonya McQueen My youngest son oh what to do!!
6 hours ago · Like
Janice Weber Kowal nothing Mama... just pray. Nothing you can do. It'll pass. He'll be okay.
6 hours ago · Like · 1
Joan NavyMom Relax, and dont get yourself sick, its not worth it! he will turn around; its just a phase... They pretty much all send home the first letter like this.... Try and relax, hun.. Seriously, he will be ok...!!~~ <<NMH>>
6 hours ago · Like · 7
Verna Walls Baker Tonya my Sailor said the same thing in his first letter in Boot Camp now he talking about saying in to become a Chief.. Just remember he has had no sleep and things will get better...
6 hours ago · Like · 3
Tonya McQueen I am seeing about getting him out scince he is just 17
6 hours ago · Like
Tonya McQueen I can not handle this
6 hours ago · Like
Joan NavyMom Tonya.. get a grip.. pull yourself together..... relax... GIVE HIM SOME TIME>>>
6 hours ago · Like · 3
Tonya McQueen it is hard
6 hours ago · Like
Joan NavyMom I know it is.. We all know it is... We all have been there.....YOU CAN DO IT.... and we are here for you!
6 hours ago · Like · 8
Tonya McQueen this was just written sunday
6 hours ago · Like
Sandy Bullard Ryczak prepare for a crying phone call, too. kills you. but it does change. things get better. they are very very emotionally draining weeks imo.
6 hours ago via mobile · Like · 6
Angie Trustulord Tonya if he really wants out he will make it happen for him self.....let him make the decision for himself...HUGS!! It is hard for us moms but you can't do this for him!!
6 hours ago · Like · 1
Tonya McQueen but can not do this i can not know he is miserable
6 hours ago · Like
Tonya McQueen oh no i can not do this
6 hours ago · Like
Angie Trustulord part of boot camp is tearing them down to build them back up to become strong young men and sailors
6 hours ago · Like · 4
Jeanne Seitz-Goldenberg Tonya, you CAN do this...honestly, as has been said, things will change. There will be good and bad days, but before too soon, there will be very many more good than bad.
6 hours ago · Like · 4
Sandy Bullard Ryczak when it is over...this hard training...they are so changed and you will be soooooooo proud of him. give it time. he does not really want out.
6 hours ago via mobile · Like · 4
Verna Walls Baker My Sailor's second letter said he was sorry for writting the first letter because he knew he made me cry.. Things were a 100% better and he loved the food.
6 hours ago · Like · 5
Tonya McQueen Thanks everone but I am not sure!!
6 hours ago · Like
Janice Weber Kowal ‎****Tonya**** please... Did you not think boot camp was going to be hard??? Honey... Listen... My son is there right now too. I haven't even GOTTEN a letter from him yet. I KNOW it's going to be a not so good letter because that is what ALLLLLL the boys send home. DO NOT LET YOURSELF & YOUR EMOTIONS RUIN YOU!!!!! You can do this. This is what it's allllllll about!!!!! This is the exact reason these boys go through this. It is to "retrain" their brains. To CUT the strings from their Momma. To make them dependent on EACH OTHER! If you interfere or write back that you will help him get out you will DEFEAT how hard he's come so far. IT"S SUPPOSED to be this way... please hon... I'm sorry for all the caps but my emotions are high right now. I am begging you to please take a deep breath. Go get some xanax if you need to from your doctor. lol ... no seriously... I know how hard this is for you as I'm sitting RIGHT beside you. WE'll get through it together... OKAY????? {{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}
6 hours ago · Unlike · 11
Janice Weber Kowal ‎** I should say boys & girls... **
6 hours ago · Like · 2
Joan NavyMom ‎Janice Weber Kowal - well said... it is true.. they go there as little boys.. mammas boys.. But come PIR-- we have young MEN!! it is an amazing process and it does work... The first week or two, they cant even take a sh*t, they are so uptight... its NORMAL.... But Tonya, we got your back, girl.... RELAX..... and just think, in a few weeks, you will be laughing and enjoying all the new stuff he will be sharing!!!!! we ya, hun!!!!
5 hours ago · Like · 5
Janice Weber Kowal Seriously... I know it's a shock & of course your natural instinct as Mom is to protect your baby. But... you have to give him the opportunity to succeed. He wanted to do this. Unless he was forced into this beyond his control (which I seriously doubt) you have to try your best to support his decision & let it be. He'll get through it. A very good friend of mine's son is a Sgt. in the Marines. He called his Mom CRYING during boot & she said it was the hardest thing she ever had to endure. But here he is, how many years later, a Sgt., reenlisted, married, a two yr old, and on his way to Japan to live for the next 3 years. He has an awesome life, doing what he loves to do. Let your son have that too. He has to get stronger & so do you. You got this mom ... you can do it. We'll hold you up.
5 hours ago · Like · 5
Janice Weber Kowal Not sure when your son turns 18, I forget, but my son left 3 days after his 18th birthday too. He's still a baby in my eyes. He seems so young. Never even got his driver's license yet, nor registered to vote, but he's off at boot. I know the feeling... Not trying to get on you for feeling the way you do, just trying to help you understand that it's perfectly normal.
5 hours ago · Like · 1
Kim Jones ‎Tonya, girl - we've all been there, done that and have the mascara stained pillowcases to prove it. My baby was only 17 when he went in too. I knew it would be hard. I knew I would miss his 18th birthday. My head knew all of the ups and downs (I'm an army brat & army granddaughter who married an army vet) but my heart never read the memo! When my baby boy reached out, so miserable and wanting mom to fix it, my mama tiger went into overdrive. I imagined every possible worst case scenario in existence (and a few that will probably never happen in a zillion years). I felt like the world's WORST mother for signing the paperwork. Yes, he said he wanted in. Yes, he had wanted to be military since the age of seven. Yes, boot camp wasn't supposed to be like summer camp ... my head was all over those facts and my heart still screamed, "But your baby is miserable! YOU should have KNOWN he was too young to make such a BIG decision." Had it not been for my husband practically sitting on me, I would have probably lost it and showed up in GL to "save" him. But then the funniest thing happened ... he got past the "tear down" phase and the "build up" began. Suddenly, my sweet little lost baby boy (who overcame the surgery for a club foot as an infant, beat asthma in elementary school and worked through stuttering in middle school) became a proud U.S. Navy MAN. Gone were the tearful letters and phone calls and in their place was an excitement for his future that I wouldn't have believed possible.

Hang in there mom. Brighter days are comin'! {{NMH}}
5 hours ago · Unlike · 8
Marybeth Geronimo Tonya I don't have time to read all of the other posts - but whatever you do - DO NOT - I REPEAT DO NOT!! try to get him out!!! They can and will come down hard on him if they find out "mommy" called... take a deep breath, know that he's in good hands. And keep leaning on us for support... send him some funny cards, and just let him know that you are there for him no matter what.
5 hours ago · Unlike · 9
Jaki Cog Tonya, all of these posts are powerfully true: ) Hope you can print them out and have them at the ready for some of the tough days ahead. I got more than one boot camp letter that said "this stinks" but he is now out under the deep blue of the Pacific(as a submariner!!) and doing an amazing, IMPORTANT job protecting us right along w the daughters and sons and all the loved ones of all these wonderful women. He will be sooo proud of his accomplishment. Once that big bay door rolls up at PIR all of this will be forgetable history: )
5 hours ago · Like · 4
Tonya McQueen Thanks everyone I have calm down a little but he did say he was just going to to suck it up and get through it so I guess that means somethging but he said in his brothers letters that he was crying while he wrote is so sad I told him to make sure and as we now theyt they know it all till they see we where right so I hope the next letter is better !!
5 hours ago · Like · 5
Janice Weber Kowal Honey... you're sooo okay & you're doing great. just take a deep breath.... not sure if I told you or not, but I did cry in front of my son before he left a few times. I explained that tears are all part of the process & how it's very natural to have tears at moments. People cry at weddings too! It's not out of just misery & sadness, but of pride & excitement & nervousness & joy too!!! Tears are an okay thing Mom!!! He's nervous, he's homesick & very tired. My son always got teary & whiny when at that point in the past. (especially when he was little & hungry!) He is growing up. So are you. Keep your letters positive & upbeat. Don't let him think you're sitting here worried to death about everything. Just be supportive & say how proud you are & can't wait to see him in that handsome uniform!!! p.s. Not sure if any of you have thought about this or not either, but they most likely are going through sugar withdrawal, possibly caffeine withdrawal depending on what they are drinking, etc. Those things can mess with you too!!!!!
4 hours ago · Like · 6
Cori Mallard McKeown Tanya ~ Remember that the beginning of Boot camp they are doing everything they can to strip them of any family/friends/home life. They are trying to take the "boy" out of them and make them reach for the man in them. It's tough to be on this end. You have to remember that the further he gets in the better it becomes. He still misses home, but he learns to lean on his boot camp buddies more. And, he thrives on those letters from home. So send him smiles....laughter....pride....photos (especially ones that might make him grin ~ a favorite food/drink). Don't let him know you are so upset. We have all been there and can promise you it gets better. And, that hug he gets when he graduates will be so much more special. Glad you came here when you did.....there are some amazing moms/wives here to lean on!!!
4 hours ago · Like · 3
Janice Weber Kowal NO carepackages hon!!! If you send pictures print them on the paper you are writing on.. not actual photographs. Don't do anything that will draw attention to his mail. No stickers, fancy stationary, etc. These are the SRs that will get picked on.
4 hours ago · Like · 3
Janice Weber Kowal Sorry Cori, don't mean to cut in on your great ideas, but I've heard horror stories about care packages...
4 hours ago · Like · 2
Theresa Pierson Younger I have to....
4 hours ago · Like
Cori Mallard McKeown No, you're good. Definitely no care packages....no singing cards...no confetti (my son was terrified I was going to add it). We did send pictures, though and he had them approved by his RDC. The only thing we sent he couldn't hold onto was the comic strips. He was allowed to pass them around, but then had to throw them away. My youngest son even sent him his favorite football card and he was allowed to keep that ~ he had to explain it was from the song "Brothers" by Dean Brody and the reason behind it. Some are much stricter, though. Better to find out what is being accepted first. And, send questionnaires. If you have questions, write them down. After a few days, print them all out on a paper with room for him to fill in the answers and simply mail them back. My son said by the time Sunday rolled around his mind was mush and he had a hard time focusing. The questionnaires made it easier for him to reply. If you are one of my friends here on facebook I have the questions and the answers in my notes section. It's been years, though so you would have to look for them....or I can tag you! LOL
4 hours ago · Like · 3
Peggy Banner ‎Cori Mallard McKeown... add those questionaires in files above please!
4 hours ago · Like · 3
Dale Duke McLain They all have some bad moments in boot camp. They break them down and then build them up. He will most likely be fine. Hang in there!
4 hours ago · Like · 1
Cori Mallard McKeown ‎Peggy Banner ~ I added a couple of them. They had fill in the blanks, true or false and some that were just there for comic relief.
4 hours ago · Like · 2
Dixie Steinfeld Banner The 4 years will do him good and then he will be fully prepared for school..BC is the worse part of it all and it is an event that will demonstrate his internal strength.. He will be glad and proud of himself once it is over..When you are young it is a mental game but when you are older it can be challenging (authority issue). However, remind him it is a short duration of training and once it is over that is when the adventures begin. I and like many on this site have survived BC and are stronger parents for it...I look foward to my tow boys going to BC so they would realize and experience what their m/d experienced. Also, they needed guidance/training that we could not offer or would they accept. My first one made him rise and demo his abilites while #2 Son learned simular findings; however, he learned to be humbled (he entered into an eco enviroment - new pond and realzed he not a big fish). Long and short they grew up in short period of time on their/Ma Navy's term. Hang in there..
3 hours ago · Like · 2
Tonya McQueen I always write postive to him no care packages just card and letters is all I think he is home sick I am writing him right now again I just sent one today !! I write 3 or 4 times a week !! I hope you all r right and he psses out of boot camp
3 hours ago · Like · 4
Shanna Beard I just went to my good friend's military retirement party. He Spent 21 years in. All his letters at Bootcamp said how much he HATED it, how unhappy he was and he wished that time would go fast so he could get out... Ps I will send a card to him if you PM me his address.
3 hours ago via mobile · Like · 4
Rebecca Rutheford If you say anything to him about helping him get out what do you think they are going to say to him? What will they make him do if you do that you will make it much harder on him than it needs to be. He will be labeled a mommas boy and it will get worse for him. You need to think about that before you go all Gung Ho and try to get him out. It will be worse for him afterwards than it is now. You really need to calm down he will be ok. My son said after the first 3 weeks it was so easy anyone could do it. After he got over being homesick he was fine.
3 hours ago via mobile · Like · 3
Linda Durkin Chiappardi All of the above posts are so remarkable, and filled with love not only for the Moms but our future sailors.... God bless Tonya! You will be fine, and he will be stupendous in at PIR.... Janice, I swear you would throw yourself in front of someone's car if they threatened to drive to GL to bring their SR home....I say that in a good way...You're all amazing support ladies.
2 hours ago · Like · 5
Brenda Gaddis McNinch Tonya, listen to all the above advise. Let him handle this. He can do this and he will. Come here and vent and cry. When my sailor arrived at his duty station he was beyond miserable. His dad and I flew out to spend Christmas with him and he asked me what i would do if he just got in his car and drove home. I told him I would turn his ass around and send it right back to the ship. He made a commitment and was going to keep it.. He just looked at me like I had grown an other head. He has since adjusted quite nicely.
2 hours ago via mobile · Like · 5
Tammie Freeman Bryant Im so glad I have read all this!!!! My son leaves for GL in 1 week and 4 days!!!! I am not looking forward to reading those "reach out for mom" letters!!!!! I guess I need to prepare myself for all this!!! Thank goodness my doctor has me on medicine to help calm me down for all this!!! Tonya...I will be going thru the very same thing pretty soon!!! Just stay STRONG!!!! WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER!!!!! I will be leaning on you ladies myself!! Our sons/daughters have always seen us as the STRONG mothers!!!! We need to continue to do this for them! As hard as it can be we need to show them that we still are!!!! Sending extra tight NMH'S
2 hours ago · Like · 2
Angela Mares Tonya, my son said the same thing.. it was the biggest mistake he had made... then he got orders to Japan he hated it even more now he wants to stay on in Japan 2 more yrs and make a career of it... he has been in a total of 4 yrs and time sure fly's.. I know its a mom's natural instinct to worry but they are trying to adjust to Navy life they knew it wasn't going to be easy just be there for him listen to him but do not let him know your fears and worry be strong for him right now is when he needs it the most... after boot when he gets to A SCHOOL the emails/texts will be shorter and further between and u will cherish his little rants and rave letters.. I still pull out mine read them and cry.. stay strong mama..
2 hours ago · Like · 3
Angela Mares haha Verna my son said the same thing he loved the food.. he was there for xmas.. and he was all excited they served mexican food.. Tonya even 4 yrs into it my son still has his miserable days... as do we as adults nothing in life is perfect..
2 hours ago · Like · 3
Anne Kretschmaier Also, what you are all forgetting is the contract that was signed. The only way out, is if there is something medically wrong with him. They aren't going to let him go just because he doesn't like it or is homesick. Give him a few more weeks and he will be fine. You really don't want him labeled as a Momma's boy. Just keep writing positions things to him. Hope all works out for him.
2 hours ago · Like · 4
Vicki Cornelius Josue Tonya - HOLD ON- it's going to be ok, keep writing you'll see a difference they are just tearing him down right now. It's all good!
2 hours ago · Like · 2
Janice Weber Kowal LOL, I feel so bad for sort of flying off the handle a bit the way I did... I think a lot of it was self-talk as well, as I'm preparing myself for my "I hate it" letter which will most likely come tomorrow (while I'm at WORK until 9pm darn it!!) ... but the main point I guess we all really need to remember & convey to them is the fact that we have confidence in them & their decision. We stand behind them along the way just far enough back that we're there when they need us, but not close enough to interfere & make them want to rely on us. We also need to let them know that we'll stand in front of them when we need to & point them back in the right direction. We can't let them quit on themselves. I don't know about the rest of you, but I think as parents we can all remember that time when our kids absolutely hated us for the way we handled something but then thanked us in the long run when they realized we were right! This is exactly one of those times. They are "clouded" & just so dog tired. They just need love & support & the reminder that we KNOW they can do it.
Try to remind them in a letter that it is the JOB of their RDCs to make their life miserable. Underneath all that yelling & criticism they are all nice guys!!!
***I will share with you all very good advice my brother (who retired CPO) had for my son (his Godson). He said there will be kids that hate it & kids that love it... and to hang with the kids who love it even if you hate it. They will be the kids that help you through & keep a positive attitude. They will keep you out of trouble & be there for you when you need help. If you hang with the other kids that hate it... where do you think you'll end up? ... HATING it!! With NO support, NO moral boost & the time will drag by slow. The upbeat kids that are doing well will help you keep a more positive outlook & time will go by faster as you learn from them and help each other. He also said, You know those guys that are screaming in your face with spit flying out of their mouths??? Those are going to be your best friends & buddies as soon as those miserable weeks are over. You'll talk to them, joke with them, & be very good friends with them. They are just doing their jobs & they hold a LOT of responsibility on their heads to make sure you all succeed. It's NOT an easy job. Try to just remember ... they are there for you. It makes a world of difference if you can remember that.***
I honestly feel that's some of the best advice ever...
2 hours ago · Like · 5
Tonya McQueen Thanks to all!!
2 hours ago · Like
Pamela Brew Tonya the roller coaster ride has begun...hang on! I had a few very upsetting letters, too and was absolutely sick to my stomach about it. After the second miserable letter I received from him I had to write back and tell him to suck it up, this was his decision that he made and that he has to finish it up. I gave him absolutely no sympathy and I felt like the biggest witch on the face of the earth, but it must have worked because about the sixth week into it his letters changed. They became more positive and actually somewhat happy, and boy did I start feeling better. So hang in there...don't let him suck you into those letters. They can really pull at our heart-strings.
2 hours ago · Like · 4
Rebecca Rutheford It will get easier. Hang in there. And remember we are all here for you.
2 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1
Dixie Steinfeld Banner Tonya you are the one who has to be the rock/anchor/Comander of the ship and hold you them accontable for they need to learn how to be strong when you are in need...
2 hours ago · Like · 2
Dixie Steinfeld Banner As they say "we have your back"!!!
2 hours ago · Like · 3
Susan Howell Boone You will see a difference. When my husband and I went to my sons BC grad he said that he would get out if he he could . 2 years later he says he would be crazy to get out. He loves his job and plans on making it a career. It made such a difference in his life. He turned 24 in BC so he was a little older than normal. He had a really hard time in those years between HS grad and BC. He is so grown up now and it is so good to see the man he has become. Try not to worry. I know that is easier said than done. And like Pamela I did have to say suck it up buttercup more than once! But we are all so glad that he stuck with it.
about an hour ago · Like · 6
Beverly Doyle Durbin ‎{{{NMH's}}} Be there for him.
about an hour ago · Edited · Like · 1
Peggy Walton Rebecca is right. It gets easier. Tell him its like the game " Simon says" Just do what your told and remember its not personal. He will do great.
about an hour ago · Like · 3
Kat Myers Heath my daughter's first letter was not a good one either...but today? She says it's the BEST decision she has EVER made...it will take time to adjust, BC is scarey, and new ways of doing things...he will make it mom...and so will you, trust me, I was you a year ago...it will get better, all in due time sweetie! NMH's
about an hour ago · Like · 3
Tonya McQueen Thanks Kat I hope he passes all his teast so he can get out of there graduation is the 28
about an hour ago · Like
Tonya McQueen of September
about an hour ago · Like · 3
Tonya McQueen SO need lots of prayers please!!
about an hour ago · Like · 2
Tonya McQueen Thanks again everyone!!
about an hour ago · Like · 1
Pamela Brew Praying that the time passes quickly and that you feel better Mom!
about an hour ago · Like · 1
Kat Myers Heath Prayers being said hun...he will make it Keep the faith!
about an hour ago · Like
Vicki Cornelius Josue Praying for him!!!!! and you!
about an hour ago · Like
Cathie Seigman Severin Prayers!!! The first few weeks are rough. They are all being introed to military life. It will get better and more fun & before they know it is graduation and A school where they get to have their stuff.
about an hour ago · Like · 1
Sandi Silvestro Remember that almost a week goes by between them writing the letter and you reading it. By the time you read it, they usually forget why they were feeling the way they were feeling when they wrote it. Try not to worry too much. Wait until his next letter and hopefully he'll sound much better. Hugs!!!
about an hour ago via mobile · Like
Shirley Stover-Wilkins Tonya his journey is just beginning, but like Sandi said things change. He will def have some good and some bad with this, as there is no perfect job or perfect life. The Navy is a good thing and it will teach him things that we as parents can't. He will be fine - sending you hugs
47 minutes ago · Like
Teresa Schmitt Beam I got the same reaction 3.5 years ago and I was told then that in 6months he wouldnt even admit to saying that and as hard as it is to believe its true, 3.5 years and 1 long deployment later he is doing fine, even thinking about extending. Our mother instinct is to get in the car and go get them, but hopefully he will be fine like mine was. NM hugs!
46 minutes ago · Like · 3
Teresa Schmitt Beam Be supportive and always remind him how proud you are of him and his decisions, write often with encouraging words.
44 minutes ago · Like
Shirley Stover-Wilkins Teresa within the first yr my Sailor was kinda singing the same tune. Now it's almost 6 1/2 months left of the Navy and coming up on his 4th deployment, he sings a different tune ;-)
43 minutes ago · Like
Teresa Schmitt Beam Yes Shirley they all go through their ups and downs, the hurry up and wait gets to all of them at times, as do unexpected back to back 8 month deployments which he is facing right now.,
41 minutes ago · Like · 1
Brenda J Freeman Hang in there Tonya. The day of my son's PIR my mom asked him if it was worth it - he said "If I had known I would not have signed up" Now - almost 2 years later - he has a different story. He loves the Navy.....BC is hard, it is most young people's first experience away from home in the truest since....Try to stay positive when you write back, let me know that you love and support him, remind him he is strong, stronger than even he knows. And remember, you have loads of support - we have all been there.....NM hugs to you!!!!
40 minutes ago · Like · 1
Shirley Stover-Wilkins tell me about it! my Sailor will going on his 4th deployment soon, that's a lot in 4 yrs :/
40 minutes ago · Like
Amy Armstrong My son is also the "baby". I made it through boot camp, he got to come home as it was Christmas. Watching him get on the plane for A school just about KILLED me. It was just a few weeks later that i worked myself into a heart attack All of this emotional stuff was way harder on me than on him. his attitudes change daily. He is fine and doing great stationed in Hawaii. so i am sending {{HUGS}} to you. Stay posirive cus this is AWESOME and we are all "sisters" and are here for you !!!
38 minutes ago · Like · 3
Linda Durkin Chiappardi After reading all these posts I've actually taken quote a few statements and put in my journal. The when my son leaves, I'll be able to pull these wonderful thoughts out and put them in my letters...again, thank you ladies.
33 minutes ago · Like · 2
Linda Durkin Chiappardi I meant quite...but quoting works too!
33 minutes ago · Like
Joan NavyMom ‎Linda Durkin Chiappardi - that is an amazing idea.. In fact, I copied the entire thread and am posting it in the FORUM... Will post the link in a few!!
about a minute ago · Like

Irene Hughes McClure Tonya, hang on. He has to give himself a chance. It's hard at first for them but they in most cases change once they start having friends to hang out with.Just always stay positive for him and yourself. Stay busy. PIR will be here before you know it. NMHs!!
15 hours ago · Like · 1
Kandi Jaeger I echo all the comments - be strong for your son.... he has shown that you are his go-to person after writing you in detail - Be his Rock as you have always been and send encouragment and love back to him.
14 hours ago · Like · 2
Beth Schneider I had to ask my son (our youngest) if he ever felt this way in bootcamp because he never told me he had regrets. He said he felt that way all the time in bootcamp! I can tell you that obviously the feeling will likely pass. Once he graduates bootcamp everything changes. Bootcamp is like being imprisoned! They are tired, homesick, away from friends, none of their teenage comforts (esp. cell phones!!), everything they have known their entire life has changed. It's how the RDC changes them into a sailor! A School is much better, and after graduation from A School, it becomes more of a career and they really begin their military life at that point. I am sure that most recruits have a wide range of emotions. I can also tell you my son will have completed his fifth year tomorrow! And, has reinlisted for another four! He has also spent all five of his years overseas and has for the most part enjoyed it. In September he relocates to Chicago, where it all began! Hang is there, this too shall pass!!
14 hours ago · Like · 7
Pamela Brew I remember our son telling us that some of these kids that go in have never been away from home a day in their lives, so that makes it even harder for them. But we all have to remember how brave they all are to have made this commitment in the first place!
14 hours ago · Like · 2
Gena Sykes-Gurgone MY sons favorite quote was FML, shall I say more, just finished A School today, turned out great, he was section leader, he was PT leader, he was also nominated for the Bobby McRill award. They all have a hard time, but learn to adjust well.
13 hours ago · Like · 2
Susie Tribble ‎Tonya McQueen I probably cant write anything that hasn't already been said/written. Just please hang in there and please let HIM work through this~this was his decision to join, he is the one who watched the videos, talked to the recruiter and decided this was/is the life for him. Probably different for a 17yr old, but, let him be the adult that he was wanting to be. Continue with that positive parental support. Remember to that brothers might talk (write) differently to eachother. It is a different relationship than mom/dad. Cry when you go to bed, but wake up smiling. He WILL be fine. Tens of thousands of kids go through this every year and that is just in the Navy (then there is also the Army, the AirForce and the Marines)...think of all those kids that make it through. Come here for support and then give your support to others. If you have not done so already, join your group on Navy4Moms....I would not have made it through without that site (wish I had known about this one at the time) for support each and every day!! Tomorrow is another day, let us know how you are feeling each and every day...we will ALL help you through it!
13 hours ago · Like · 7
Barbara Pearson Guyll I can remember both my boys hating the Navy one week and loving it the next, ups and downs, back and forth. It ended up to be the best thing every for both of them. Hang in there!!
11 hours ago · Like · 6
Robin Chapman Thompson Miss Tonya McQueen, I think every mom on this page can tell you about a horrible letter they too received. So sad in fact was mine that I thought about driving to Chicago and kicking someone's ass for making my son so unhappy!!! I will keep you in my heart today.
6 hours ago · Like · 4
Nellie Durham Howell Always ups and downs in the letters...he will be great Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5 hours ago · Like · 2
Tonya McQueen Thanks For all the kidness and encourgement !!
5 hours ago · Like · 2
Susie Tribble Laughing to myself right now as I think about it another way. You know when your son/daughter has a bad breakup with a boyfriend/girlfriend and you give them all this advice and help them through it....then....2 days later they are back with that person just like nothing ever happened (and you are totally dumbfounded?) That is what those letters are like. Ups and downs...they move on day to day, we sit and worry. Hoping today is better for you Tonya!!
4 hours ago · Like · 5
Tonya McQueen Thanks
3 hours ago · Like
Ellen Bernstein that's a completely normal, expected 1st letter..he will get through it all just fine! hang in there and keep sending encouraging, positive letters and cards back!! My son's letters were even worse than that and he's thriving in the fleet now, preparing to re-up next year.
3 hours ago · Like · 2
Laura Mclin I know he will like it soon!!!
about an hour ago · Like · 1
Dixie Steinfeld Banner The time to laugh is when he decides to make the USN a career...Often the ones who detest the first 4 yrs become lifers.
about an hour ago · Like
Sharon M. Young-Maliszewski Prayers that things are settling in for him and you as well. It is hard the first three weeks or so, then it is a complete turn around. Hang in there, we are here for ya!!!
24 minutes ago · Like

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Things will get better for him. Wait until he is half way thru before you really believe what he is saying. We all rant and rave when we are going thru something new. Just keep encouraging him. He will get thru this and so will you'